Is Windows a virus?
1. Viruses replicate quickly
OK, Windows does that.
2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system.
OK, Windows does that.
3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk.
OK, Windows does that, too.
4. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs.
Sigh... Windows DLL's and "upgrades" do that, too.
5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware.
Yup, that's with Windows, too.
Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences:
1. Viruses run on most systems and hardware
2. Viruses program code is fast, compact and efficient
3. Viruses are easily installed without the user needing to do work
4. Viruses tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Life!
Life!
On the first day, God created the dog and said:
'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'
The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said:
'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'
The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said:
'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'
The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created man and said:
'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'
But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'
'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service.
On the first day, God created the dog and said:
'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'
The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said:
'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'
The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said:
'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'
The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created man and said:
'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'
But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'
'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Contracting
I used to do contract work for a CCTV company around the UK. The working day normally finished off with a few beers and a bar meal.
On a particularly big contract, we got to know of a club (chicago rock cafe) that did £12 entry, free buffet food and drink all you can.
This particular wednesday, I left the club, in need of a bed, to say the least. I woke up the next morning to discover what can only be described as a 'CrackerBread' of shit in my underwear.
After wondering all the next day what could've happened, it only came to me that night when i was walking into town to catch a movie at the cinema.
On seeing the NCP, I stopped sharply when the memory of crouching behind a mini metro came rushing back, along with the hoards of pub, cinema and restaurant go-ers showing their discust at my crammings and resultant verbal obscenities.
If that wasn't bad enough, I also remembered ordering 'the works' pizza from a take away near the train station, paying for it, and walking straight out of the place without eating a slice.
On a particularly big contract, we got to know of a club (chicago rock cafe) that did £12 entry, free buffet food and drink all you can.
This particular wednesday, I left the club, in need of a bed, to say the least. I woke up the next morning to discover what can only be described as a 'CrackerBread' of shit in my underwear.
After wondering all the next day what could've happened, it only came to me that night when i was walking into town to catch a movie at the cinema.
On seeing the NCP, I stopped sharply when the memory of crouching behind a mini metro came rushing back, along with the hoards of pub, cinema and restaurant go-ers showing their discust at my crammings and resultant verbal obscenities.
If that wasn't bad enough, I also remembered ordering 'the works' pizza from a take away near the train station, paying for it, and walking straight out of the place without eating a slice.
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